Sunday, November 22, 2015

Lying or Not Lying..? The Art of Little White Lies..

When we were kids, Pinocchio taught us the outcomes of lies.

Actually studies say that nose is one of the main components to detect lies; nose flares, red nose.. etc.
Studies also say that a lie can be detected from that person's body language; position of the head, hands including posture of the body ; because body doesn't lie. And no one can hide the elevated heart rate or metabolism. 

In our daily life there are inevitable moments that we have to lie. Some lies involuntarily slip from our mouth.The toddlers lie for attention , teenagers lie for sneaky work and adults lie to save their or someone else’s life.

The difference between sociopathic lies and non sociopathic lies is that there is no violence included, attempted or planned.

Sometimes we find ourselves in the middle of lying or not lying dilemma.
Apart from apologising boss for getting late, some lies can be daunting.

So This post is about the art of little white lies.

When it comes to detecting lies, I’d like to recommend a book. "The body Language of Liars" by Lillian Glass. 

This book definitely won’t make you a skilled liar, but it will help to detect lies and liars.

And more importantly, this book is not about suspecting your friends / loved ones or it’s not about the assumption of “trust no one” . It’s about science of a lie.

The whole point of a white lie is the mutual respect.

Honor the lie, honor the listener. (yeah! I mean that.)

The first lie I remember in my life, happened in 1999. 
First day in school. Parents were anxious to take their kids home and listen to the stories about the new class. There were lots of moms outside the gate. I saw my mom, ran to her but I accidently grabbed the hand of my friend’s mom. She looked at me, and said "oh look! darling did you mistake me for your mommy.?"

I felt little ashamed; really, how dare she thinks I can’t recognise my own mother.! I was 5, short and it was a mistake.. 
I said “Nooo. I was going to fall that’s why I grabbed your hand, Sorry” 
Not those exact words, but the gist is there..

The feelings occurred at that moment, along with the theme first day at school is the reason I remember that incident clearly.!

There are few aspects in My Art of  Lying.!

>Be aware of the situation.
Some situations don’t worth the effort. So when a lie lead to another & another & another, I’d  recommend you to find a neutral option.

>Some lies are detectable.
Almost every lie is detectable. So your listener may well aware about your lie. So no need to brag, they don’t need to hear details. Cut it short and vanish. In other words, keep it short and let it go.!

Speaking of detectable lies my dad told me a story. 
There was this  person and he went for a job interview. He had a certificate signed by the director of an organisation. That director was also a member this interview board. But this guy only knows his name and haven’t seen him.
That director looked at that certificate and asked him about it. That guy started to brag about his experiences at that organisation and then the director told him, “Son, I was this director and I don’t remember of giving or signing this certificate.!” The word is that candidate excused and left the room without even looking back.
Well . That’s a detectable lie.!

>Don’t ever lie about others.
You can lie to save your neck but don’t drag your friends to it, not even the enemies. It’s a bad habit and never ends in a healthy way.

>Honour your lie.
Don’t think less of it. It just saved your life.

>Respect the listener.
He was listening to your lie for yours sake.! I hate it when people tell me lies without showing even a bit of gratitude for me. I think this is same for everyone.!

>Hateful lies are the worst.
Don’t tell lies that is coming from jealousy, manipulation or hatred.

Sometimes we lie to save others. This is a risk we take to show our friendship, love or to avoid a conflict. 
So at least tell the true story to a one person you trust, or you’ll end up being labeled as a liar.

At last but not least  this post is not to encourage you to lie, but to ensure that a lie is not always as bitter as it sounds.!  

When someone lie to me about a situation I’m well aware of, I’m blasting into a laugh from inside. See that’s why I told, lies aren’t always bitter. 

So what do you think about white lies.? =)

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